I’ve written a lot of blogs during my time at Grant Halliburton Foundation. Blogs about stress, depression, trans youth, mindfulness – things in my comfort zone. Goodbyes are not in my comfort zone.
The moment I walked through the doors at Grant Halliburton Foundation I knew I was home. The thing about homes is that sometimes they change. Sometimes you move to a different city or just down the road. Sometimes what you need from a home changes, but almost every time moving homes really sucks.
I never wanted to be a mom. I knew from the time I was a teenager that I wanted to help young people and save the world, one kid at a time. Even as I got older, I always thought I would be happily married with way too many dogs while climbing the professional ladder and helping save the world, one kid at a time.
And then my plans changed (as they tend to do). One day, my heart started to change. Imagine the movie scene in The Grinch where his heart starts doubling in size until it breaks the X-ray machine. My heart grew and changed, and I wanted a child. I wanted to be a mom and I wanted to make my spouse, Keller, a dad like he always wanted to be. They say having kids changes everything, so I guess this is just the beginning.
Once I got pregnant, my priorities quickly began to shift. I worried about how I would go back to work once the baby arrived, how having a child would affect our lives financially, and everything in between. To make a long story short, the perfect opportunity found me – an opportunity that would help answer many of those questions.
I’m moving on from the Foundation to work remotely for the Crisis Text Line as a community partnerships coordinator. This is no doubt an emotional move for me, but I know it’s the best decision for me, my growing family, and this new phase of working motherhood I’m about to stumble into.
“The thing about homes is that sometimes they change. Sometimes you move to a different city or just down the road. Sometimes what you need from a home changes, but almost every time moving homes really sucks. ”
As I sit here at my desk, almost 20 weeks pregnant, reflecting on my time at Grant Halliburton Foundation, I can’t help but think about all that I’ve learned here.
I’ve learned that no story is unimportant. Everyone’s journey is unique and every story matters.
I’ve learned that my own story is powerful. Being a suicide-attempt survivor puts me in a unique position to give hope to others and I will never take that for granted.
I’ve learned that humans are highly adaptable and able to move through change with grace and creativity, just like the Foundation team did during the pandemic.
I’ve learned that young people are hungry to learn about mental health and suicide prevention and desperately want to have these conversations. They just need someone to help get them started.
I’ve learned that writing and grammar are important and if I ever plan to write a book, I should send it to Vanita first.
I’ve learned that what we can achieve together far surpasses what we can do alone. You’re nothing without your team and your team is nothing without you because every person is valuable.
I’ve learned that leadership determines so much about an organization. Kevin and Vanita lead the Foundation with empathy, confidence, and humility.
I’ve learned that although homes can change, they never stop being home to you. So, to my work family, I love you all and thank you for changing me in all the good ways. Grant Halliburton Foundation is a place of growth, innovation, respect, and purpose. Anyone would be lucky to call it their next home.
Kevin, Vanita, T.J., Amy M., Blanca, Amy P., Jessica, Erricka, Connie, Kristien, Diane, and Hannah –– you’re all gems. Keep fighting the good fight and I promise to do the same. The mission of Grant Halliburton Foundation is in my heart forever and I will take it with me wherever I go.
I will continue to try to save the world, one kid at a time, starting with my own, Miles Rowe Fields.
Not goodbye but see you later.
By Cami Fields, LMSW